I made a thing…
goddamn yes to all this.
Now, I don’t mean to derail this great feminism post with whining about misandry, but misandry fucking exists. I’ve seen so much of it from some of the more liberal feminists I’ve known, and I understand why they’d hate males so much, but hating males only makes the cause - to make males treat women fairly - much harder for males to understand.
Yes, misogyny is a bad thing. I understand that. But if you’re feminist misandrist and extremely open about it you’re only going to make males hate you for being unnecessarily hostile, and thus you’re dragging the good name of feminism through the mud. You deal with patriarchal bullshit time and time again, I understand that; but not all males perpetuate the patriarchy. In fact most of them are taught to degrade and own women from their childhood up to when they graduate, so just yelling at males because they’re being sexist will only make the issue escalate. Another thing is that not all possibly rude comments you hear or see might have been intentional; sometimes people try to explain something and end up saying something bad in the process. If it really irritated you, just take some deep breaths and politely discuss the matter with them privately later.
When you’re telling a male they are being misogynist, do it like this:
“I don’t mean to be rude - and you may not have meant what I understood from what you said - but you said something that was rather misogynistic/sexist. I feel that you could have said something else, but I understand that sometimes we slip up and choose the wrong words for what we’re trying to say.”
Using a sort of Royal We helps them understand that you aren’t against them, and that you aren’t attempting to insult him.
Do NOT say it like this:
“That was really fucking misogynistic. Like holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you.”
What I’m trying to say is that you can’t combat misogyny with misandry; you must be extremely kind and considerate because males can get extremely hot-headed extremely fast sometimes. Yes, what they said was rude, but if you fire back the same rudeness at him you are only going to make the situation worse, whether you and I like it or not.
TL;DR: In order to show men how to stop being misogynistic, you have to be nice and considerate in order to show them an example of how you need to be treated.